Suggested Age: 7–12
Time: 10–15 minutes
Every person has many parts that make them who they are. Create an Identity Flower together to explore five parts of your lives: My Family, My Body, Who I Like, How I See Myself, and My Beliefs.
The goal is connection, understanding, and conversation.
Two pieces of paper and crayons, markers, or pencils.
“Let's each make an Identity Flower. I'll go first, then you can make yours. We might learn something new about each other!”
Draw your flowers. Make five petals with ME in the center. Label each petal, then take turns filling them in. Parents can share an example first.
Who is part of my family?
Parent: “I'm your mom, Dad is my husband, and you are part of our family.”
What are some things about my body?
Parent: “I'm female, I'm a woman, and I have brown eyes.”
Children might describe their appearance, physical abilities, or being male or female.
Who do I love, like, or feel close to?
Parent: “I love Grandma because she's my mom. I love you because you're my child. I'm attracted to and in love with your dad.”
Older children might talk about crushes on boys or girls, or not having crushes. No labels are necessary.
How would I describe myself?
Parent: “I'm a mom, a woman, a friend, and someone who enjoys helping others.”
Children might describe their personality, interests, being a boy or girl, or how they express themselves through clothing and activities.
What do I believe is important?
Parent: “I believe in kindness, family, respect, and faith.”
Invite your child to share what matters to them.
Look at your flowers together.
“Every petal tells us something about who we are, but no single petal tells the whole story.”
Child Choice: Your child may write, draw, talk, or leave a petal blank. This is not a test.
When you finish your flowers, look at them together.
If something your child shares catches your attention:
Pause ✶ — “Something caught your attention. Notice it. Do nothing yet.”
Then, if helpful, use:
👀 Take a Look — “What's happening here?”
You might ask:
One question may be enough. Sometimes Pause alone is enough.
Have a question about your child's flower or want help continuing the conversation?
Explore sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, heterosexuality, LGBTQ+ experiences, and family values.
Ready to explore why these parts of identity matter to your family? Family Activity #5: Our Family's Why Flower
