Suggested Age: 13–18
Time: 15–20 minutes
This activity gives parents and teens a simple way to talk about identity, relationships, attraction, beliefs, and family values without turning the conversation into an interview.
The parent’s purpose is not to teach, correct, or persuade, but to listen and learn.
The parent teaches mainly through example—by answering first, speaking honestly, and showing how they think about family, body, attraction, identity, and beliefs.
Model first. Listen second. Teach through example.
The goal is connection, understanding, and conversation.
Five small pieces of paper or index cards and a pen or marker.
Write one topic on each card:
“Let’s try something together. We’ll take turns talking about different parts of who we are. I’ll answer first each time, and then you can answer if you want to. You can also pass or come back to a question later.”
Parent:
“One thing I value about our family is that we try to stay connected even when we disagree.”
Then ask:
“What is something you value about our family?”
Parent:
“I’m female, and I’ve learned to appreciate my body for what it allows me to do.”
Then ask:
“How do you think about your body right now?”
Parent:
“I’m attracted to and in love with your dad. I’ve also had close friendships and people I admired in different ways.”
Then ask:
“How do you think about liking someone, attraction, or having a crush?”
Parent:
“I see myself as a mom, a woman, a person of faith, and someone who cares a lot about family.”
Then ask:
“What words would you use to describe yourself right now?”
Parent:
“I believe every person deserves respect, and I also have beliefs about relationships and sexuality that are important to me.”
Then ask:
“What beliefs or values feel important to you right now?”
Shuffle the cards again.
This time, when a card is drawn, each person may answer:
“What is one thing you wish the other person understood better about this part of you?”
The other person listens before responding.
Your teen may:
This activity is not a test. There are no required answers, and agreement is not required.
The parent’s job is to model openness and listen. If something important comes up, it can become the beginning of another conversation rather than something that has to be resolved immediately.
If something your teen shares catches your attention, consider Pause ✶ — then TALK.
Pause ✶
“Something caught your attention. Notice it. Do nothing yet.”
Pause is awareness before responding. There is no need to evaluate, explain, question, or decide immediately.
Then, if helpful, use:
👀 Take a Look
“What’s happening here?”
For this activity, Take a Look means trying to understand what your teen is expressing before deciding what you think about it or what you want to say next.
Questions You Can Ask
You might ask:
Parents may ask one question, several questions, or none.
A good conversation does not require answering every question.
One question may be enough. Sometimes Pause alone is enough.
Have a question about this activity, something your child shared, or how to continue the conversation? Ask Granny.
Select the blue Ask Granny button in the bottom-right corner of this page.
Granny can help you understand the topic, find age-appropriate words for your next conversation, and explore helpful Talk First Family® resources.
Granny is designed for parents and caregivers, not for independent use by children.
